Date night for Mom and Dad

The other night my husband and I had dinner together.

We had talked for quite a while about getting out for a “date”, just the two of us. There were no movies we were dying to see, so armed with a gift certificate to a local restaurant, we both looked forward to reconnecting as a couple for just a few short hours.

Naturally, our children tried to derail our plans.

I think my first mistake was telling our two boys exactly where we were going for dinner.

“We’re going to The Fours in Norwell, “I said, hoping to reassure them that we would be close to home and able to return quickly should some unforeseen reason arise.
“The Fours?” they chorused in disappointment. My kids associate The Fours with good food and fun. How dare their parents decide to dine there without them? Had I been smart, I would have told them we were trying a new French restaurant that specializes in frog’s legs, sweetbreads and escargot. The idea that their parents were venturing out to the place that served their favorite burgers and nachos was unthinkable; practically treason.

A short time after our announcement, the kids tried to play the guilt card. My younger son attempted to school my older son in the nuances of passive aggressiveness. “Say it this way, “he instructed, continuing, “Oh well, I guess we’re not going to The Fours with you for dinner tonight. We’ll just have to stay home and eat stale bread and water instead.” Not bad for a nine year old. A few more years and he’ll be even more skilled than his mother.

A bit later, I called the two boys to the table for their dinner. They trudged up the stairs with heavy footsteps, their shoulders slumped and their heads hung low. Clearly they were trying to use body language to convey their displeasure with our plans.

I gently explained to the boys that moms and dads need time alone to reconnect. Time to talk about everything and nothing. Time to laugh at each other’s jokes and enjoy a quiet dinner without having to referee fights or remind someone to sit up straight or stop picking on their brother.

They countered with this logic: “You know you just went to your friend’s house for dinner a couple of weeks ago.” (True). “And you went to see “The King’s Speech” while you left us home with Nana and Grandpa!” (Yes…at Christmas).

My nine year old decided it was time to pull out his final trick, the ace in the hole: “You mean to tell me you don’t want to stay home and spend time with your own children? What’s wrong with you?” This phrase is a running joke between us, yet I knew there was an underlying note of truth in his jest.

Time to pull out my own lethal weapon: “Do you know, “I asked them, “what happens sometimes to moms and dads who don’t get to spend enough time together as a couple?”

“What?” they asked.
“They get divorced. “ Silence.

I continued, “Think about it. Do you really want to spend every other weekend and Wednesday nights with your father?”

“No,” they answered grudgingly as my husband murmured that Tuesday nights would actually work better for him. Resigned to an evening with no one to monitor their video game playing and YouTube viewing habits, they waved goodbye as we headed to The Fours.

Less than two hours later we were home, sated by a good meal, a couple of drinks and enough time to laugh and remind ourselves exactly what we love best about each other. Aside from a depletion of cookies from the cookie jar, our children were no worse the wear for our brief evening out.

There will be more opportunities ahead for my husband and I to enjoy our “alone” time. However, if we decide to visit The Fours again, this time we might have to bring our passive aggressive, guilt-inducing, nacho-eating children along too.