Tears from The Ice Queen

My friends call me The Ice Queen.

Perhaps I should clarify. I’m not a cold person. I’d like to think that overall I’m warm and friendly (when I’m not being sarcastic and snarky.) But my friends refer to me as The Ice Queen because I have a reputation for being one of those women who never seem to cry at anything. Movies, books, news stories…not a drop. This is, of course, not true. But I can see how my friends might perceive this.

It’s not that I don’t cry. It’s that I don’t like crying at things that obviously try to manipulate me. For example, those movies that use music and dialogue and dewy sentiments that practically scream “You will cry now” at the audience. I hold it in just to spite them.

My friend and I went to see “World Trade Center” several years ago. Nicholas Cage starred in the true story of two Port Authority officers who were, against all odds, pulled alive from the rubble at Ground Zero. It was an incredibly moving story and my friend sobbed throughout the entire film. I didn’t sprout one single tear until the very end, when the main character is pulled out on a stretcher and he tells his wife “The thought of you kept me alive”. That did it. One solitary tear rolled down my face.

That same friend and I went to see “My Sister’s Keeper” a few years back. This was the fictional story of a girl who has to decide whether or not to donate her kidney to her dying sister. People were bawling all around me as the audience was bombarded with emotional images and maudlin music.

I shed not one tear. In fact, I kind of wished the folks around me would pipe down so I could hear the dialogue.

Thus my reputation as the Ice Queen grew. My book club would discuss books that had everyone in tears at the end...everyone, that is, except me. Even in bible study, while I was touched by the personal stories shared, I would remain dry-eyed while people around me reached for the tissue box. What’s wrong with me? I wasn’t always this way.

When my children were small, they took music classes in Scituate and at the end of every 8-week session, Miss Beth would play “Pomp and Circumstance” and hand out graduation certificates to the children. My eyes watered every single time. The same thing happened when Miss Vicky played the Olympic theme song as my kids showed off their toddler gymnastic skills at TumbleFun and placed medals around their necks. And the end of “It’s a Wonderful Life” always left me in tears. (“To my big brother George…the richest man in town!” Sniff…sniff).

So what happened? Have I become hardened with age? Is it my changing hormones as I approach fifty? Have I run out of tears? Whatever the reason, I’m no longer crying at the drop of a hat. Yet, I don’t think the term “Ice Queen” is completely appropriate.

Where are these people when I’m standing at a baseball game listening to the Star Spangled Banner? As soon as they get to the line “Oh say does that Star Spangled Banner yet wave?” and people start cheering, my throat gets tight and tears spring to my eyes.

Or how about when I took my kids to see “Toy Story 3” and had to wipe my face constantly during the last 20 minutes with butter-stained napkins? That scene where Andy reluctantly hands over Woody and all his other toys killed me. My friend looked at me askance over the top of my son’s head as I dabbed at my eyes. Was the Ice Queen really crying over Toy Story?

Worst of all was this past week at 4th grade memory day. The event was my son’s graduation from elementary school and I warned everyone well in advance that the Ice Queen would be bustin’ out the tears. One friend said, “Take a picture for me, I want to see what that looks like.”

For one hour and fifteen minutes, I sniffed and snuffed and dabbed at my eyes. From the first strains of “God Bless America”, the waterworks began. As the children marched into the gymnasium, I cried. When the principal read an emotional speech about giving our children back to us, I cried. When we watched a multimedia presentation featuring our kids, I laughed…and cried. When the principal said, “I give you the 2011 Graduating Class of Sylvester School” I cried. And when she asked the students to turn around and applaud their parents, I bawled. My son caught my eye and mouthed the words “I love you.” I mouthed the words, “I love you too” as the tears streamed down my face.

True to my word, I took a picture for my friend just so I could prove that even the Ice Queen is capable of melting every now and then. I’m only human. But don’t expect to see me dabbing at my eyes in the movie theater anytime soon.

Unless, of course, they decide to make Toy Story 4.