Lessons learned from vandelism

I’ve lived in my town for twelve years, and for as long as I can remember there has been an ongoing battle to build a new high school for our children.

The idea has been proposed, vetoed, proposed and approved. The construction was temporarily halted due to issues with the chosen contractor. And yet, despite these setbacks, the new high school continues to grow, inching closer to its projected opening of September 2011.

And now the latest setback. Last week, three teenagers were arrested for vandalizing the interior of the new school. Glass was broken and walls were spray painted. The incident made the front page of the local paper and many town residents are buzzing about the identity of the perpetrators (two were from our town, one from a neighboring town). Since the kids are underage, their names have been withheld.

I’m glad I don’t know who the kids are. It would be too easy to point fingers and pass judgment. When something like this happens, I try to say “There but for the grace of God go I” and hope that my own children will avoid making a similar mistake when they hit those difficult, teenage years.

As a mom, I’ve tried to instill the idea that my children should respect the property of others. Every time I sent one of them off to a play date, I would remind them to play nicely with the other person and be especially careful with that friend’s toys. I’ve also tried to emphasize that they need to be respectful of each other’s possessions. Still, I’ve lost count of how many times one has complained that the other has “ruined” their Lego set.

Yes, it’s a bit of a stretch from breaking down a Lego set to breaking windows and tagging walls. But these same teenagers were kids once too, and though I don’t know them personally, I’m willing to bet that their parents tried to instill the same values in them when they were children. Despite our best efforts, our kids sometimes make poor choices.

My oldest is on the brink of his teenage years, which means that he may soon morph from my sweet, good natured son into a sullen, moody, unrecognizable teen. When that happens, will he remember his lessons from the DARE program or will he ignore them? Will he continue to pursue a place on the honor roll or will social relationships become more important? Will he remember to respect the property of others or will he give in to peer pressure and damage someone’s property?

One of my good friends is the mother of two teenagers and as we discussed this week’s incident, she commented, “Raising teenagers is like being on an amusement park ride. You just have to hold on tight and hope you all get to the end safely.” Though her children, in general, make good choices, they’ve also had their share of mistakes and missteps. During our conversation, she and another friend revealed some poor choices they made when they were teenagers. I think many of us cringe over at least one thing we’ve done during that time in our lives

Getting back to the high school. I’m sad that these kids chose to vandalize something that has faced so many setbacks already. I can’t begin to guess what might have motivated their actions, nor would I want to try. It’s not my job to place judgment or grant absolution. That’s for the courts to decide.

But I have hope. I hope that those teens will use this incident as a life lesson and put that type of behavior behind them. I hope that when the new high school finally opens, all of our children will take pride in what they have been given. I’m hoping that the new halls and classrooms that surround them will give them a sense of ownership about something that their community has worked so hard to
provide.

One can hope.