Surviving School Vacation

If you’re like me, you are probably wondering how to style your hair…or what’s left of your hair after pulling out most of it in frustration because it’s February vacation week.

Now February vacation is a challenge under the best of circumstances. There’s a week off at Christmas. Then two weeks later a long weekend for Martin Luther King Jr.’s birthday (and if you live in my town you have an exceedingly long weekend since a professional day was tacked on the Tuesday after MLK day. Thanks.) After MLK weekend, it’s just a few short weeks until President’s Day, heralding yet another week of vacation.

So you can see how parents might be a little bit punchy with all those vacation days under normal circumstances. However, this winter has been anything but normal. With four snow days thrown into the mix (and a couple of early dismissals as well), we’ve had only two full weeks of school this year. I heard rumblings about possibly eliminating some of either February or April vacation, in order to make up snow days, but so far, no such luck.

By the time this column reaches your hands we will have all heard the following phrases more times than we can count:

“I’m bored.”

“I’m hungry.”

“What are we doing today?” (Also rephrased as the statement, “There’s nothing to do.”)

“He/she is hogging the television/video game system/computer/iPad/iPod/iTouch.”

Sound familiar? Here are a few survival tips on responding to these phrases allowing you to regain a small amount of sanity over these last few days of vacation.

A friend has a brilliant solution whenever her kids say “I’m bored.” She whips out the vacuum cleaner, toilet brush, dust rag and directs them to whatever needs to be cleaned. As you can imagine, the words “I’m bored” are rarely uttered in her presence. Give it a try. The first few times your kids utter this phrase, you’ll end up with a sparkly clean toilet bowl or kitchen counter. Stock up on extra Lysol and Windex so everyone can have their own bottle. After they catch on, your kids may only think or whisper “I’m bored” under their breath, but as long as you don’t have to listen to it, who cares?

My nearly-teenage son frequently says, “I’m hungry”. I helpfully reply, “Well, what are you hungry for?” to which he usually says, “I don’t know.” At this point I start to list everything in the refrigerator and pantry, all of which gets rejected. From now on the phrase “I’m hungry” will be countered with the response, “So am I. What do you feel like making me?” It’s a great opportunity for your child to learn how to prepare your favorite goodies. Watch it come in handy when Mother’s Day rolls around.

The question “What are we doing today?” sets my teeth on edge. As it is, I hear this most weekends, not just school vacation week. It’s as if I’m Julie McCoy and I’ve created this mysterious agenda for each non-school day, but just haven’t shared it with them yet. Rather than respond with “Well, we’ve got shuffleboard on the Lido deck and Isaac is giving bartending lessons at three in the Coconut Lounge”, I’m going to give them an honest answer: “I’m cleaning out the fridge and I could use your help. Can you taste these items and let me know if they’re spoiled? (This might actually tie in with the aforementioned “I’m hungry” complaint).

When the inevitable “there’s nothing to do” comes up, counter with all the things you have on your agenda: “Sure there is! Can you pull the stove out and clean that little area I can’t reach where all the food falls down between the stove and the counter? And when you’re done, can you clean the grout in the shower? Just grab your toothbrush and use it to scrub, that’s what I do when you’re at school.”

Inevitably one of my kids will complain that the other is hogging the television, Wii or computer. Distract them with something shiny, and then surreptitiously throw the circuit breakers on those items. Explain that sometimes there are partial blackouts that only affect these items and suggest they read a book….in their room…with the door closed. Be aware that this does sometimes backfire. Be prepared to get sucked into a marathon game of Monopoly or Clue. When you can’t take one more trip around the board, excuse yourself and throw the circuit breakers back on.

And for those of you lucky enough to be relaxing on a tropical shore or schussing through the mountains of New Hampshire, I wish you a wonderful vacation week with just one word of warning: Your day will come. Perhaps during April vacation week.

Good luck.