Royal Wedding

Don’t tuck away your Easter bonnets just yet. In less than 48 hours, millions of Americans will set their alarms to 4 a.m. in order to don their most regal finery and tune their televisions to the most anticipated event of the 21st century: The royal wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton. All across our country businesses will close, allowing employees to stay home and wait with baited breath for a glimpse of Kate’s bridal gown. School children will be kept home in order to take copious notes on every detail of the royal nuptials. Life as we know it will grind to a halt as every man, woman and child weeps in joy for this long-awaited, blessed event.

At least that’s what the media would have you think.

Seriously, I don’t actually know anyone in my circle of friends that plans to watch the wedding. But you’d never know it based on the 24-hour royal wedding coverage that our American news outlets are ramping up as we count down to the big day. It feels like The Today Show’s Meredith Vieira has been in London for about 6 months now, visiting with the royal hat maker and collecting souvenir plates of Wills and Kate. Even our local news reporters have been in the U.K. for several days, looking for new angles on an event that has already been beaten to death long before Kate’s dainty foot has even set foot inside Westminster Abbey.

Why this fascination with British Royalty? After all, weren’t they the reason our forefathers escaped to this country in the first place? Why the change of heart? Is it because we kicked their butts in 1776 and saved those same butts in WWII that we’ve softened towards the monarchy? Or maybe it’s because we invested ourselves so heavily in the last “fairy tale” wedding between Lady Diana Spencer and Prince Charles, only to be disappointed. Rife with adultery, disapproving in-laws, bulimia and the tragic death and subsequent sainthood of Princess Diana, that particular fairy tale ended on a “Grimm” note.

Apparently, the media thinks we can’t get enough of William and Kate’s big day. But how can one royal wedding hope to compete with Lindsay Lohan’s jail sentence, Charlie Sheen’s Torpedo of Truth tour and the ever-changing “who’s dissing who?” on The Real Housewives of New York? I can see why the Brits, who still love their royal figureheads, are willing to put their lives on hold until the last piece of wedding cake has been eaten and the newlyweds have fondly waved farewell from the balcony at Buckingham Palace. But what makes the media think those of us “across the pond” are as interested as our British brethren?

Maybe it’s because we have a soft spot in our American hearts for Diana’s motherless boys. The two young princes appear to have inherited Diana’s playful nature, easy smile and empathetic spirit. Call me a foolish romantic, but the fact that William and Kate have been together for several years indicates real affection as opposed to a carefully engineered merger for the purpose of royal procreation. There may not be any fairy tale ending, but perhaps Wills and Kate have a shot at a loving, happy life together.

So for the sake of international relations, I’ll make time on Friday to enjoy a scone with clotted cream or a healthy serving of spotted dick (Get your mind out of the gutter. It’s a spongy cake-like dessert that has raisins in it. Look it up). I won’t drink tea, but I’ll have a good old American cuppa Joe while I turn on the telly and see if it’s worth all the fuss.

But just a peek.