Talking about 9/11 - 9/17/08

This past Thursday marked the seventh anniversary of the 9/11 terrorist attacks. I fully expected my 5th grader to come home and ask me the question I’ve been anticipating each year: “What happened on September 11th?”

On 9/11 my children were 3 years old and 6 months old respectively, way too young to have any idea of what was happening to their world. I didn’t allow them to see any of the horrifying footage on that terrible day. Over the years, I’ve turned off any recap of the events of 9/11 when my children are nearby. Still, I’ve fully expected that a friend or a teacher would have mentioned something that would prompt that hard question. Each year I’ve thought about how I would answer, adjusting my explanation to be appropriate for their ages.

When my son came home from middle school on Thursday, he mentioned that there had been a moment of silence. I asked if he knew why and he said he thought it was to honor the patriots of the civil war. Tempted though I was to correct him, I kept my mouth shut. My second grader remains oblivious. Maybe I’m sheltering them too much, but I’d like to preserve their innocence for just a bit longer.

When the questions finally come, as I’m sure they will, I will answer them as honestly as I can, hopefully in a way that doesn’t give them further anxiety about traveling by plane or visiting a tall building. But how do you begin to explain religious fanaticism to a ten-year old? If we can’t wrap our minds around such a savage act of hatred, how can they? I vividly recall the sick feeling that no matter what I do as a mother, I cannot completely protect my children from harm. Nearly forty years earlier, my own mother felt the same way while pregnant with me during the Cuban missile crisis.

I’ve collected a few books on 9/11 geared towards children, and we’ll read them together when they are ready. I’ll try to focus on the heroes from that day, and the way the country pulled together in the face of adversity. I don’t want to keep my kids in the dark forever: It’s my responsibility to teach them about that day because they will be the future politicians, religious leaders and caretakers of the world. It will then be their responsibility to help ensure that it never happens again.