Preparing for Middle School - 8/27/08

The teacher assignments are here, the supply list is in hand and suddenly the truth hits home: I am a middle school mom. I won’t haul out the old wasn’t it-just-yesterday- I-was-putting-him-on-the-kindergarten-bus sob story because you’ve heard it before. Every middle school parent experiences that feeling.

This should not come as a shock to me. We have been discussing middle school for over a year. Whenever my son complained about the amount of homework he had (which, by the way was nothing) I would say, “You think this is a lot? This is nothing compared to MIDDLE SCHOOL.” When he lies in bed at night, reading until all hours, I am the one threatening,” Get your sleep now because when you’re in MIDDLE SCHOOL, you’ll have to get up even earlier.”

I went to the middle school open house last spring and met the principal and the guidance counselors. They gave us a very nice presentation on what to expect and were very patient in answering all of our questions. After the 4th grade visited the school, I asked my son what he thought. He whispered two words: “It’s big.”

So throughout the summer I have been mentally preparing myself for all possible issues that could arise in middle school. I’ve been formulating a battle plan for homework, sleep schedules, and practice time with the combination lock. I’m anticipating lost notebooks, missed assignments and down-to-the-wire book reports. And just when I think I have all my bases covered, a seasoned middle school mom throws me a curveball.

Her: “You know they change for gym class in 5th grade?”
Me: “Um…yes”
Her: “Make sure he doesn’t wear tighty-whities…he’ll get picked on.”
Me: Stunned silence.

With all the potential issues and problems that can affect my child in middle school, I now have to worry about the right underwear? Another middle school mom confirmed this. Granted, the film “Risky Business” was 25 years ago, so whatever coolness Tom Cruise gave white briefs is long gone. Plaid boxers from American Eagle or plain dark boxer briefs are de rigueur these days. Here I thought I got off easy by having boys. No Uggs or North Face jackets in my house. Maybe some Vans or Sean John jeans down the road. But this? Now?

Apparently, what I’ve been teaching my son all along is true. It’s not what’s on the outside that matters; it’s what’s underneath.