All Hail The Yankee Swap!

Now that the holidays are here, people all over New England will be participating in that venerable tradition, The Yankee Swap. Ah, what better way to spread warmth and good cheer than by joining in an innocent gift exchange that is supposed to embody the spirit of the season, yet often leaves participants with feelings of jealousy, ill will and bitterness.

Okay, perhaps I’m exaggerating. We didn’t have the Yankee Swap in New Jersey, we had “The Grab Bag” . One would bring a wrapped present to a party and when it came time to choose, you had to rely on your keen sense of sight and any spoilers your friends might have shared. Each person, in turn, would choose a gift, unwrap it, say thank you and then wait for the next person to select. The phrase “You get what you get and you don’t get upset” applies here. If two people felt it was mutually beneficial to swap presents, it was done in a low-key, quiet manner.

The Yankee Swap is a whole different animal. Not only is swapping allowed, it’s mandatory. The odds of going home with the gift you choose are fairly slim. For those who have never participated, the Yankee Swap is a present exchange with a twist. Numbers are randomly assigned designating the order in which people choose gifts. The first person chooses a gift and then opens it. The second person chooses a gift, opens it, and then decides if they would like to keep that gift or swap it with the first person. The first person has no say in this. The third person opens a gift, and then decides whether they would like to keep their gift or swap it with one of the first two gifts. And so on.

A little online research yielded several variations on the Yankee Swap. In one, people can only swap for a previously unwrapped gift before unwrapping your own, in which case the person whose gift you took gets to select a wrapped gift, or a gift that was already unwrapped by someone else. Some people only allow a certain gift to be swapped a set number of times and then it is considered “dead”. Some allow the first person to choose again once everything has been unwrapped, in which case the person who drew the second position has the least desirable position of all. The key to a successful Yankee Swap is to be sure to spell out all the rules ahead of time, lest hard feelings ensue. Oh who are we kidding? Hard feelings ensue no matter what you do.

I say this because for every Yankee swap there is a “choice” gift and a “dud”. The dud gets foisted off again and again at which point the person who purchased this particular gift feels like a leper (Tip #1…don’t tell anyone what you brought). The choice gift is snatched away multiple times throughout the swap, lorded over the assemblage until the moment when it is snatched away again. (Tip#2…do not get too attached to anything.)

My first Yankee Swap turned out well for me. I don’t remember what I brought but I do remember that the choice gift was a beaded bracelet and the dud gift was a small votive candle which was originally intended as a teacher’s gift but was brought along at the last minute because the participant forgot to buy a swap gift. I was the last person to pick, and as chance would have it, the person who was holding the bracelet at this point was the same one who brought the dud gift. So I went home with a lovely bracelet and she went home with her teacher’s gift (Tip #3…don’t bring anything to the swap that you’re not happy to take home yourself).

In one swap, I drew the last number and used it to help someone who had not fared as well. My friend chose a lovely snowman candle which would have delighted her daughter. Sadly, this became the choice gift, and was snatched away several times. With the last pick, I determined there was nothing I couldn’t live without, and then acquired the snowman candle, handing it back to her when the swap was finished. Swap powers used for good, not evil! In another swap, a person offered to swap a bracelet I was coveting for the wine gift card I had received. By the end of the swap, I was in possession of a Barnes & Noble gift card instead, which didn’t hold the same appeal as the wine card. Clearly my friend preferred booze to books.

Despite the competitive nature, I do enjoy Yankee Swaps; though I prefer the anti-swap my book club holds every January. Friends bring the worst gift ever given to them (or the worst thing they can find for under $5). Past items have included a cookbook of Velveeta recipes, a subscription to Our State magazine (the state is North Carolina…the recipient lives in Massachusetts) and even a turnip (an annual gift from a friend’s mother-in-law). The great thing about this type of swap is that you’re prepared to go home with something awful. That’s what makes it so much fun.

The best part of any Yankee Swap is that it gets a group of friends together to laugh, share stories, create memories and spend just a few moments of each other’s time during the hectic holiday season.

And I wouldn’t swap that for anything.