Thanksgiving Traditions

Thanksgiving is here. On Thursday we will settle in and perform a series of rituals that we, as a nation, have developed since 1621, when the Pilgrims sat down with their new friend Squanto and gave thanks for their first bountiful harvest of the New World.

There must be turkey, of course. In the olden days, the turkey was hunted, plucked, dressed and cooked. How archaic. In modern times, my mother hunts the turkey. She does this by shopping at the same grocery store for 6 weeks prior to Thanksgiving, accumulating bonus points with each purchase. Once she earns enough points: free turkey. On Thanksgiving Day, my mother performs an old family tradition. The turkey’s pop-up timer pops. My mother says, “Oh the turkey popped. Do you think it’s done?” I assure her that it is, at which point my mother says, “Oh, I don’t know. I think I should let it go a little longer.” Her fear of salmonella is greater than her fear of overcooked turkey. Thank goodness she makes killer gravy. I bought her a digital thermometer in order to avoid this ritual, but she just incorporates it. Now she says, “The turkey popped and the thermometer beeped. Do you think it’s done?” Sigh.

Another tradition is the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade. What is it about the parade that fascinates us so? Is it the inane banter between Matt Lauer and Meredith Vierra? (Do they recycle that banter each year? Same script, different hosts?) Is it the unbelievably bad lip sync from the celebrity performers? (Whom do they think they’re fooling?) Are we just waiting to see if a rogue balloon might accidentally take out a few unsuspecting tourists? (Welcome to the Big Apple folks. The hospital is this way.) My parents videotape (now Tivo) the parade each year. One year a woman in a chorus group, who sang a little too exuberantly, flew backwards off her float, and my parents caught it on tape. This clip was replayed more times than the shooting of Lee Harvey Oswald.

Here’s one Thanksgiving tradition I can’t quite wrap my head around: green bean casserole. The ingredients seem fine on their own, (green beans, mushroom soup, fried onion rings) but mix them all together and it makes my stomach churn. It’s like some post-apocalyptic monstrosity from the Valley of the Jolly Green Giant. Were the Campbell’s soup kids involved? Somehow this freakish dish has been designated a Thanksgiving classic. Pass the Alka Seltzer, please.

And then there’s football. Not being a football fan myself, I can’t explain why this sport has become such an important part of our national day of thanks. Is football a digestive aid? My sisters and I would just as happily watch re-runs of “The Sound of Music”, making snide comments about Rolf, the Nazi-in-training. But my husband and my brother-in-law do try to shoehorn in a few minutes of one game or another in between musical numbers. When I do watch football on Thanksgiving, I find myself feeling sorry for the players since they’re separated from their families on a holiday. Then I remember that they make millions of dollars and my sympathy ebbs away.

Whether you enjoy football, turkey, the parade or, yes, even green bean casserole, here’s hoping that one Thanksgiving tradition you will enjoy is the company of family and friends. On the list of things that I am thankful for (and it’s a long list indeed), my family takes pride of place at the very top.

Happy Thanksgiving.