On Milestone Birthdays

This has been a year of milestone birthdays.

Thankfully, none of these milestone birthdays have been mine. My next “big” birthday ushers in a whole new era, allowing me to apply for membership in AARP and checking off that box on surveys for people “50 and above…” But that’s three years from now, so let’s return to the milestones I helped celebrate this year.

In June, my mother-in-law celebrated her 70th birthday. On the last day of school we picked up our kids and drove to central New York to share this momentous occasion. As a child I thought 70 to be a particularly ancient age, but my in-laws run their farm, volunteer and participate in several social organizations in their community. I’m often exhausted when I read emails from my mother-in-law Sara, detailing the myriad of weekend activities. If I’m this tired on the dark side of 40, how does she manage to stay so active at 70? Maybe Sara can clue me in to the secret of increasing your energy as you get older. Good clean country living…or Geritol?

In September, my nephew turned 21. Sadly, the emphasis of this milestone birthday is the ability to drink alcohol legally. Since you can drive at 17 and vote and serve in the armed forces at 18, the one remaining activity restricted to age 21 is drinking. Visiting the party store last weekend, I noticed that all the “milestone” themed items for ages 30, 40 & 50 were very different from the “21” items. The majority of these novelties revolved around alcohol. My nephew is a smart kid, his one vice an excess of video games. I’m hoping that now that he’s “legal”, he’ll stay smart and drink only in moderation.

Recently, my sons’ taekwondo teacher invited my husband and me to a local pub to celebrate her husband’s 30th birthday. 30? An unpleasant truth settled in my brain: I was old enough to be his mother. Pushing that thought aside, I tried, without success, to recall how I spent my own 30th birthday. I have no memory of it whatsoever. I can, however, remember my husband’s 30th. Vividly. It was my first visit to his parents’ house. His stepfather had planned a barbecue for the occasion, but as he fired up the hibachi, it began to rain. Undeterred, his stepfather brought the hibachi inside, setting it on top of the woodstove. Smoke filled the house as my future husband ran from room to room opening windows: A truly unforgettable milestone birthday.

Last weekend, I helped organize a party for a friend who turned 40. She accepted this milestone with good grace, though she looks about 25 so perhaps that makes all the difference. On my 40th birthday I spent the day in my bathrobe, crying and feeling sorry for myself. Then the two dozen roses arrived from my husband and I managed to pull it together. When he arrived home with a spa gift certificate and tickets to the musical “Mamma Mia”, 40 suddenly didn’t seem so bad. The day ended with several friends taking me to dinner, and I finished that milestone on a high note.

Next month I travel to New Jersey to celebrate my father’s 80th birthday. This milestone is bittersweet: my dad is reaching it but many of his friends and past acquaintances did not. Though his mind is as sharp as ever (he still does the NY Times crossword puzzle in about 20 minutes…in pen), his body is feeling its age, something that concerns us both. I’m thankful that he is reaching this birthday, but then again I am grateful for every year that he and my mother bless my life.
Which brings me to my final thought: Isn’t every birthday a milestone? Is 30 that different from 29? Will 50 be that much different than 40? All of the milestone birthdays this year had one thing in common: they reinforced the notion that time passes all too quickly, and we need to appreciate every day, every hour, every minute that passes, regardless of whether this particular birthday happens to have a zero on the end of it.

So when my next milestone birthday comes, think I’ll be okay with it. I’ll celebrate with a smile, a prayer of thanks and a cup of coffee purchased with my senior citizen discount.