Mishaps and Misadventures at the Registry

The RMV has a bad rap.

Seriously. Mention the words “registry of motor vehicles” and you’ll see people respond in a variety of ways (none of them good). You’ll never hear someone say, “I’m so thrilled, it’s time to renew my license. I can’t wait to go to the RMV!”

My odyssey involving the registry began about 6 weeks ago when I lost my license. Before you jump to conclusions and think I drove north bound on Rt. 3 south or led police in a high speed pursuit down Main Street, I use the term “lost” in the sense that I misplaced it. It either fell out of my wallet, dropped out of my purse, or migrated to that spot in my house where single earrings, car keys and my iPod headphones like to hide.

I assumed I would find my license somewhere, so I didn’t rush to replace it. I wasn’t sure what the penalty was for driving without it (I mean, technically, I was licensed to drive…it just wasn’t physically with me.) After a couple of weeks, the issue came to a head when my registration came due. Typically, I like to renew my registration online. But in order to do that, you need to have…your driver’s license number. Since my license no longer had my social security number on it, I resigned myself to a trip to the RMV.

Bright and early on a Thursday morning, I drove up to the registry in Braintree, since several friends had told me that though it was a small location, the lines moved really fast. I arrived at 9:20, wishing I had left a bit earlier to get there right when the office opened. To my surprise, there were a handful of folks hovering outside the front door. Apparently, that particular location didn’t open until 10 a.m. on Thursdays (how was I to know? I could have called.) Rather than wait outside for 40 minutes, I drove down the street for a coffee. When I returned at 9:55, there was a line of about 75 people stretching from the front door into the parking lot. Hmmm. Maybe the coffee wasn’t worth it after all.

Luckily, the line moved fairly fast, and after grabbing a number I sat down on the bench with my 75 new friends and waited my turn. Being a Thursday, I needed to deliver Meals on Wheels at 11:30, but I was sure I would get out in plenty of time.
When my number was called, I approached the window and handed my paperwork to the clerk. My license was in the system, but the nice lady let me take a new picture since I was 22 pounds lighter than when I last renewed. After rejecting the initial mug shot for a smiley one, I handed my credit card to the clerk and got my temporary replacement. However, when it came time to renew my registration, I was unable to pay for it with a credit card (cash or check only). Due to my Meals on Wheels commitment (and my refusal to wait in line again after going to the bank) I decided that I would renew my registration online where I could pay by… credit card. (Who loves irony? Quick show of hands!)

By this time I was late heading home for Meals on Wheels, so I dashed out of the RMV and headed to Rt. 3 Unfortunately, my enthusiasm for charitable work caused me to yield improperly at the Braintree rotary, and wouldn’t you know It, a state trooper was right in the rotary when I did it. Several minutes later I was really late for Meals on Wheels and $100 poorer. Luckily I had my temporary license with me. Imagine if I didn’t? But then again, if I hadn’t gone to the RMV in the first place, I wouldn’t have been pulled over.

Fast forward two and a half weeks when it came time to pay my citation. It needed to be paid within 20 days or risk a fine on top of the fine. Looking at the fine print, I noticed that the citation could be paid online. Within minutes, I had logged onto the RMV website and paid my fine. Hooray. At least one thing was easy about this whole mess.

Twenty minutes later, I received an email telling me that my online RMV transaction had failed. The reason given was that the citation number was not in the RMV system. Either it was incorrect (it wasn’t) or it had not been entered into the system yet. Wait….what? The email urged me contact the RMV’s call center immediately.

I called the RMV and spent the next 40 minutes listening to bad hold music. Finally, an employee came on the line and told me that the reason my citation didn’t exist in the system was because the officer had not yet entered it. Here it was, two days before I was due to accrue penalties and the officer hadn’t bothered to enter it? The employee asked me for all the pertinent information (at this point I was paying $100 not just for my failure to yield but for the luxury of doing the trooper’s work for him). Finally, my citation was paid.

Oh by the way, guess what came in the mail? Yes, my new license arrived in the midst of all this RMV ugliness, but right around the same time, my old license came back to me. It arrived in a hand-addressed envelope from a local gas station. It must have fallen out the one time I decided to pump my own gas. If only they had sent it to me sooner, I could have avoided the whole ordeal.

And miss all that fun? Never.