It is BALLOON!!

At the risk of sounding like a codger-in-training, I miss the good old days. Come back with me to 1987, a kinder, gentler time. On October 14 of that year, our country rallied 'round their televisions, gripped by the story of a child in peril: Baby Jessica. Little Jessica McClure, only 18 months old, toddled into her back yard and fell down a well. For 58 hours, rescue workers trying to free the little girl from an 8-inch wide pipe riveted America. After countless hours of round-the-clock prayers, Jessica was free.

Nearly 22 years to the day, the country experienced a similar crisis. On Oct. 15, six-year-old Falcon Henne, otherwise known as "The Balloon Boy", was believed to be floating aloft in his family's homemade balloon, speeding across the fields of Colorado as a nation watched helplessly. Viewers were glued to 24-hour news channels while Internet users constantly hit their refresh button, searching for updates. There was speculation that the trapdoor at the bottom of the balloon was unlocked, prompting the idea that the boy could have possibly fallen out (this with the balloon hundreds of feet in the air, zooming untethered across a chilly, Colorado countryside).

I was on the phone with a friend when I first heard about the incident. "Have you seen this thing about the Balloon Boy?" she asked. As I read the news on my laptop, my first reaction was laughter (a kid free-floating in a balloon? Goofy!) My laughter quickly changed to horror when I realized that the authorities were stumped on how to land the balloon safely. As a mother who panics when my kids disappear momentarily at the food store, I imagined how I would feel if one of them was somewhere in the atmosphere, scared and calling for me. At this point, horror turned to nausea and dread. As my children and I sat down to dinner, we said grace and then a fervent prayer that the boy be safely returned to his family.

My prayers were answered, in a manner of speaking. As the entire country knows by now, the boy was hiding while this whole drama unfolded. As Black Hawk helicopters raced to save him, the child was playing with his toys and napping in the rafters of his garage. No sooner had we all collectively breathed a sigh of relief than the rumors began: The family had participated in the reality program "Wife Swap." Twice. The father was an admitted storm-chaser, often bringing his sons with him into potential danger. During an interview on Larry King Live, the boy was asked why he didn't respond when he heard people calling his name to which he replied, "We did this for the show." Speculation that the entire stunt may have been a carefully orchestrated hoax began to spread. As of this morning (Monday, Oct. 19) the local sheriff's department has decided to pursue an investigation that could possibly result in criminal charges.

Let me state for the record that I am thankful that Falcon was not in the balloon and that he is safe and unharmed (although "safe" seems like a relative term as revelations about his family come to light.) But the idea that a media-hungry, spotlight-seeking family could pull such a stunt makes me angry that I wasted my time, my concern and yes, even my prayers on a bunch of nuts. Yet I have only myself to blame. We live in a world where Jon and Kate Gosselin out-nasty each other in front of millions of viewers, where The Real Housewives of Atlanta/Orange County/New York/New Jersey pull wigs and hurl insults, where husbands and wives are swapped like trading cards, all to a weekly audience. If I didn't want to get caught up in the "real life" drama of people like this, would my Tivo be so full each week?

Which brings me back to Baby Jessica. When they finally pulled her out of the well, tired and dirty but very much alive, it was an uplifting moment for our country. We cried our tears, thanked God, and for a few moments felt that there was still hope and good in the world. Baby Jessica did not go on to star in her own reality series. She wasn't mass marketed on t-shirts or as a happy meal toy (Imagine that? "Baby Jessica doll...pipe not included.") She survived her ordeal and went on to live her life quietly, in near obscurity.

I miss those days.