Are You Being Served?

I've been reading "Waiter Rant" by Steve "The Waiter" Dublanica. Based on his popular blog of the same name, Dublanica's book is a funny, irreverent take on the ups and downs of being a waiter. My husband has always said I would make a terrible waitress (he's been a waiter, a bouncer, a DJ and a bartender, so he speaks from experience). I always questioned his evaluation until I read "Waiter Rant" and realized that it wouldn't take too many difficult customers to provoke me to a public confrontation (which would inevitably lead to my dismissal. So scratch waitress off my list of potential professions.)

Coincidentally, I had a conversation the other day with a friend of mine who is in the service business. She is not a waitress but does work in the food industry. Her particular job puts her in direct contact with customers from the moment she walks through the door to the end of her shift. I was intrigued with her suggestion that one problem with the service industry lies not with the servers, but with the customers they serve.

Think about it. If you've ever seen an irate customer let loose on a waiter, a cashier or a customer service rep, then you'll have a sense of what she's talking about. Granted, there are incompetent, rude, apathetic employees in every profession. Dealing with these people can raise anyone's blood pressure. But, for every clueless retail clerk there's an honest, hard-working counterpart doing his or her best to service customers while scratching out a living. We complain about bad service but what about bad customers?
What is our responsibility as consumers? Have we become so complacent with our role of being served that we're confusing servers with servants? Have we as a society developed a sense of entitlement that blinds us to the fact that the woman behind the returns counter at the department store deserves the same courtesy as us (no matter how slowly she might move?) Has it become so ingrained that we don't even realize we're doing it?

My husband (the former waiter) has severe food allergies. Whenever we go out to eat, you can see the panic form in our server's eyes when he realizes there's a potential dead man walkin' in his section. My husband, however, does not demand that the restaurant jump through hoops to accommodate his condition. Instead he respectfully adjusts his expectations of what he can order based on what the chef can reasonably prepare without killing him.

My years in the direct sales business were wonderful; doing home parties opened doorways to new friendships. The majority of my hosts were warm, friendly and respectful of my job. However, there were one or two hosts who definitely saw me as the hired help and treated me as such. It was an eye opener.

In most service and retail industries, the rule of thumb is The Customer Is Always Right. Consumers and the dollars they represent are too precious to lose, so bend over backwards to keep them at any cost. But does that give consumers the right to exploit that rule and demand good service without regard to our own behavior? My friend's point was that if you want good service, try being a good customer. Which of course comes back to that valuable nugget we teach our children: Treat others as you would like to be treated yourself. Treat the people who serve you with respect and dignity and, hopefully, it will come back to you in the form of good service.

Don't get me wrong; I am far from perfect myself. I recently blurted out an expletive (loudly) while standing in line waiting to board the USS Constitution. We had been waiting for more than 30 minutes in the hot sun, children in tow, when a group of tourists, lounging off to the side, were allowed to go ahead of us (something to do with timed tickets they had been given earlier in the day when the crowds were much larger). Those of us in line grumbled at the prospect of waiting even longer in the heat, to the point where I lost my temper and shouted, "This is (something that comes out of the back end of a male cow)". In front of my children. And other people's children. And an active duty Naval midshipman. In uniform. Not my finest moment.

So yes, we're all capable of rude behavior when it comes to being served. But if I may drag up another cliché, you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar (and even more with what comes out of that male cow!) I'm a talker, and I tend to initiate friendly conversation with waiters, cashiers, bank tellers and the guy who pumps my gas. My friends make fun of me, but I can't help myself. For the most part, though, I tend to get good service in return. Not always, but most of the time. Bob Dylan said it best in his 60's version of yet another cliché, what goes around comes around: "You're gonna have to serve somebody."

With my luck, it will be that Naval midshipman.